adult-ing comes in pieces

Imagine having to put together a puzzle, but the pieces would come to you in the mail over the course of a few years. That's sort of like what becoming an adult feels like.

If you're hoping to wake up one day with knowing how to buyacar-fixalight-ironyourclothes-writethankyounotesontime-cookameal ... it's not going to happen like that. It's the slow accumulation of useful knowledge, almost always by experience.

In college, I did not know how to effectively study. I hadn't learned how to write a timely thank-you note. I did not know what questions to ask for when opening a savings account. I didn't know how to interview for a job. I didn't know the best way to paint a room, or how to make good coffee. I didn't know how to say no to stuff I didn't want to go to. I didn't know how to not overbook myself. I didn't know whether to use nails or screws in a woodworking project. I didn't know how to remove a tick. I didn't know how to change a flat tire, or how to jump-start a car. I didn't know how to put a shelf up on a wall. I didn't know how to build a charcoal fire (without the aid of copious amounts of lighter fluid).

The kicker was that every day I trudged on with this idea that there was just so much stuff I should already know by now, but I didn't. Therefore, if I felt like I was behind, that meant I was behind.

My pastor likes to say that you have to be 21 years old before you can be 25. By that, he means that it's unrealistic for anyone to expect to have the wisdom of someone older without also experiencing what that older person has experienced ... that being the slow accumulation of skills and lessons. There's just no short-cutting. Wisdom, as understood in Scripture, is something that accrues, and that no one comes into this world possessing.

Cut yourself some slack -- you're learning, and you'll learn. All that stuff and more I didn't know how to do college, I know know how to do.

It may be really hard to notice, but bit by bit, you've been getting those puzzle pieces in the mail.