on Billy Joel wisdom

I remember driving home once after seeing my favorite band perform live. I'd waited all my life to see them, and it finally happened.

You probably know how it feels after a concert like that. I had lightning-esque, energized adrenaline positively racing, galloping, scouring through my veins (and my body). I felt as though I could channel electricity itself.

It feels something like this.

Even though it was after midnight, and I needed to wake up early the next day because I was standing in a friend's wedding, my body DID NOT want to sleep. My body wanted to ride the concert high as long as I could.

But, I needed to sleep. My body said no, but my brain said yes. And my brain was right.

The next day would be long. So I forced myself to embrace stillness. I stared at my bedroom ceiling, waiting for sleep to eventually float down upon me, even while my ears rang with the residue of sing-along anthems from just a few hours earlier.

A younger me would've ignored this wisdom. "Let's stay up all night -- we gotta ride this wave!" my reasoning might've shouted.

Sometimes, we have to force a wiser way to live upon ourselves than our body may crave for us in a moment. You will re-learn this truth of life, if you've learned it before. I will have to re-learn it too. Our Lord God created us to regularly need sleep, decent food, a regular amount of actual sunshine, friends, silence, prayer, community, human touch, laughter, all that. To be human, in other words. We need times of serious rest to follow times of serious work. And yes, we're made to work well and diligently. But we're not made to work nonstop.

One of the numerous reasons why I love Billy Joel's song 'Vienna' (from the 'The Stranger' album and yes, the '13 Going on 30' movie -- an enduring, iconic film for its genre) is its implicit call and reminder of this eternal truth. The lyrics positively teem with this wisdom.

"Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out..."

"Slow down, you're doing fine..."

"You can't be everything you want to be before your time..."

"Take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile / it's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two..."

Dear reader: if you've recently wrapped on an exerting season of life, it would do you much good to coast a bit and take your foot off the gas (beyond the point where you feel moderately rested). If you can, it'd be wise take the notifications off your phone, to disappear for awhile.

To play a video game you've already conquered.

To take a nap with a family pet (preferably your own family pet, not some random, feral, goofy-eyed possum from the nearby creek).

To walk in the sun. To reset. To build something useful with your hands, just for the fun of it.

To re-read a favorite book. To play a board game.

To force your body, mind, and heart to adopt -- and stick to for this time -- a purposefully slower pace of getting through a day.

To fall asleep praying.

[Incidentally: have you ever held a baby? Maybe it's your newborn cousin, or an older sibling's firstborn child. If a baby (that's not yours) falls asleep in your arms, it feels like a huge, huge compliment -- because it is. It means the baby feels safe with you. Imagine this scenario next time you fall asleep while praying to God -- sleep is a natural response for someone to do when they feel safe and secure in in the presence of another.]

Rest up, y'all. We'll gather back on the other side of the new year.

Cookie Monster, main character vibes, Alex the lion, yes vs no

 -It's been one of those weeks where every day kinda feels like an entire week all by itself. 

-When I was a kid, I broke one of my collarbones. Because I didn't break a limb, they couldn't use a cast. I had to wear this half-nelson sling for a few months. Not comfortable. It taught me for some aches and pains, we have no choice but to heal out in the open.

-It is a grace from God that we as human beings do not have to keep track of everything we need to do. I never have to remind my heart to keep beating. This is good! My eyes remember to blink all by themselves. I have a enough trouble remembering to drink enough water, or to eat a proper amount of vegetables.

-I still harbor disappoint about Cookie Monster going corporate and giving up cookies for vegetables. He sold out.

-The strongest friendships and working relationships I have are those where we've fought, and then have done the careful, intentional work of mending fences.

-On prayer: I'd be way worse off in life if God had said 'yes' to every prayer I've uttered. Praise the Lord for the 'no, I've got a better idea for you' answers.

-I ran out of bread crumbs once when preparing to bake a meal, and substituted flax seed to make up the difference. Bad idea. Quite a bad idea. 

-What in life is worth celebrating? What was worth celebrating last week? Remember. It's calming to think on such awesome stuff, to write them all down, and to recall. 

-Speaking of: gratitude and giving thanks are not synonymous. Gratitude is how we can feel. Giving thanks implies something we do, and verbalize.

-Look for the glory in people, and point it out to them that you see it, and what you see.

-C.S. Lewis: "If you do one good deed, your reward is usually to be set to do another and harder and better one."

-An underrated way to succeed in most of life is to do boring stuff really well.

-One of the counterintuitive lessons I've learned is that I do not have to need to have the same role in other people's lives. Sure, I'm a main character in a few people's stories. 

Way, way more often though, I'm a cameo. A walk-on. Perhaps a recurring character, but usually part of the background. My role differs from person to person. This is also one of the most freeing realities I've realized. 

It's probably the same for you. You and I, we don't need to muster main character energy for everything and for everywhere.

-Yesterday, one of y'all challenged me yesterday to a race through that bouncy obstacle course on the Quad. I felt honored to be challenged. And surprised. Highlight of my day yesterday. I did try to win, but in retrospect, glad I took the L -- winning probably would have brought more challenges, and more times tripping through that bouncy course. Once was plenty good.

-A best friend of mine has long been a fan of old BMW's. Until I heard him talk about them, I never noticed these vehicles on the road. Now, I see them all the time. Don't know about you, but it seems like I have to know something's name before I can truly begin to see it. 

And this doesn't just apply to cars.

-I'm thankful for my father. I know lots of people who felt pressure from their dads to pursue a vocation, to carry on the family name. Not my dad. He never, ever put that on us to follow in his footsteps (even though he had the same job as his dad). He wanted us to work hard with whatever we ended up doing. Aside from that, he didn't express much preference on where we applied ourselves. What a relief. 

Speaking of parents, what are some ways your parents have done well in how they're raising you? You should tell them.

-On considering different viewpoints: I've been persuaded in life more by patience and presence than by arguments and immediate replies.

-A quote I saw recently that rings true: "Your future is hidden in your daily routine." Yep. Something of what you'll end up doing a lot in your future is something you do presently, somewhere in your life. 

-There's a plot hole in Madagascar (the movie) that's always bothered me: the idea that Alex the lion, who normally feasts on copious amounts of steak, could be satiated by some mini bites of sushi. That's ridiculous. Why not just go feast on the fossa?

the blessed annoyance of unlearning

"Come snow skiing with us," they said. "It'll be a fun day," they said.

Nope.

That was not a fun day.

I didn't have coordination trouble. Nor did I have problems getting onto the ski lifts. I also figured out how to stop (ie just fall down). 

No, my trouble was deeper. I had to unlearn. 

The stingiest hurdle for me that day was my skiing experiences ... but not snow skiing. Water skiing.

They're both skiing. This is true. And they are similar enough for me to believe my water skiing experience would help. But ... it actually did not help. It hindered. It wasn't just learning how to snow ski -- I also had to unlearn and work against my water skiing habits and reflexes. Unlearning took effort.

This memory comes to my mind now and then, especially in the wintertime. 

At times, I tend to believe that improvement in life -- growing in my faith, or changing how I relate to others, or more regularly giving thanks -- can be achieved by acquiring more knowledge, by growing in wisdom and skill.

But that's only part of it. 

We also gotta unlearn. Sometimes, we gotta unlearn more than we would want. 

Un-learning. 

Unlearning habits that no longer work. 

Unlearning coping strategies.

Unlearning unwise ways to relate. 

Unlearning our sneaky pride.* 

[*Specifically, unlearning a pride that convinces us that we know what's best for ourselves, and unless we get exactly what we think should happen, everything all ruined. That's a sneaky kind of pride that feeds anxiety, when we assume we know the best ways that everything should happen and work out.]

Unlearning lies we came to believe were truth. 

Unlearning behaviors. 

It's a continual shedding of those barnacles that cling to us.

“We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road ... Going back is the quickest way on.” -CS Lewis

Unlearning can 'feel' like you're losing ground. It can 'feel' like you're falling behind. It can stink to realize that you have anything to unlearn. 

It's rarely 'feels' efficient to unlearn. But we all have stuff to unlearn. Small stuff. Bigger stuff. Welcome to the party.

It's wise to figure out where you took a wrong turn. We all make wrong turns, sometimes even for (at the time were) understandable reasons. Sometimes we took a wrong turn because we were trying the best we could, with the knowledge we had to work with at the time. 

Make the turn. Do the unlearn.

Let's go see if we can pick the original path back up, to run the race as it's marked out for us.

"let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." -Hebrews 12:1-2