ask for help? are you insane?

I don't like asking for help. You don't like it either.

 

Behold, a smattering of excuses I've used to avoid asking for help in (various) situations:

 

-"I don't want to be a burden"

-"I don't even know where to start with what I need"

-"They won't take care of this for me in the way I want it taken care of, so I'll just do it myself"

-"People are all so busy, I hate to add on more thing to anyone's plate"

-"They can't help by bringing/making me food because they don't know how to deal with my allergies"

-"I don't want to then deal with all the questions"

-"One time I asked for help and that person who said they would ended up letting me down, so I'm not going to do that again"

-"I don't want to owe anyone any favors"

Does this sound familiar? Do you abhor asking others to help you? Would you rather punch yourself in the face?

Of course.

 

Even though so much publicity and messaging exists to reassure you that getting help doesn't make you a freak or weak --

-- you still reflexively recoil at the thought of asking someone to help you. I do too. It's sufficiently ingrained in this age that we avoid such entanglements.

 

Yet it's hard to find a more anti-Christian, anti-human credo to attempt to operate by than "I shouldn't need anyone's help."

Please hear this, with love: many people do want to contribute and assist you in your success. But you (and I) make it hard to do if you (and I) never let anyone lend a hand. 

In a weird way, asking a friend for help serves them. 

When I grant others the honor of showing their care for me, that blesses them. Being able to show unselfish, unconditioned love for another person fulfills. It reminds me (and you) that letting others help widens my (and your) trust for them, and vice versa.

Truth is, we can't do everything by ourselves. We profess to understand and to heed this axiom, but in reality, we attempt to instead do 98% by ourselves. We heed the technicality of this truth, but not the spirit of it.

So ask for help. Start small, and start with someone you trust. Admit what you don't yet know instead of trying to fake it. It's how people get stronger, and how trust grows, and how the world should work.