further up and further in

As a kid growing up with a much older brother, I lost a lot of games playing against him. Baseball. Basketball. Checkers. Video games. Street races. Ping-pong (especially ping-pong).

For years, I'd lose. And lose again. And lose some more.  

"Why can't I be as good as him?" I'd think. The obvious answer was that he was older, farther along in development as a person. 

Truth is, when we compare ourselves to others in any area of life, it gets challenging. This also happens when it comes to faith. 

We look at other people's relationship with God, and then we look at our own. And sometimes we can't help but think 'I don't feel like I have the same sort of relationship with God that they do.' And you think this in a way that leaves you wishing your relationship with God was different. Was more. Was more vibrant, more connected, more everything. More like theirs. 

So let's unpack.

Truth #1: We're meant to pursue God and our relationship with God with others, in community (Heb. 10:25). It's essential. So avoiding all comparisons by avoiding all people can't be the way to go (sorry, introverts!). 

Truth #2: Comparison is the thief of our joy?  Sometimes. This can drag on our countenance. By constantly wondering why our relationship with God isn't like others, we can easily overlook the fact that God relates to us uniquely.

Case in point: In John 21, Jesus tells the apostle Peter about Peter's own future. Peter then (referring to John the apostle) asks Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to Peter, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” So this isn't just a comparison we're prone to make. The disciples did this too. Jesus lovingly redirects Peter's attention: 

"You follow me."

Truth #3: Comparison can't just be the thief of joy. It can also be the thief of complacency. And this can be a backhanded lift to our countenance.

It's a fact of life that if you want to improve at any task, you put yourself in the company of people who are better than you at that task, and know what you don't (yet) know. 

If I want to improve at tennis, I play tennis against people better than me. If I want to improve at singing, I sing with voices more developed than my own. It's a well-tested way to truly improve. 

So observing someone's relationship with God, and thinking 'I wish I had that' can help motivate us to know God more like that person knows God. We're meant to grow with God by watching others (1 Corinthians 11:1).

First, we should check our perceptions. Comparing what we feel inside vs what we perceive on the outside about others is rarely a fair comparison. Knowing more about that person will help our comparing be more fair to ourselves.

Second, we sometimes learn how to love something by observing others. An older sister with a new younger sister learns how to hold the baby by watching how her parents hold the baby. A guitar player learns how to care for their instrument by watching a more accomplished player take care of their guitar.

"Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way." -Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz.

Do others have a relationship with God that we'd like to emulate? Certainly hope so. Are we meant to motivate one another to seek the Lord? Absolutely. The funky thing is that pursuing a better, closer relationship with God might not make you more like someone else. It'll more likely make you a stronger, healthier, more vibrant version of yourself.

run like hell

It's almost too bad being a mouse in (or near) homes, buildings. You're poking around, darting here and there, minding your business. But then suddenly, you spot this unbelievably gorgeous piece of human food, just sitting there. 

Sure, the "platter" it's sitting on looks a little weird, but you crave this treat. You want it because you want it.

You cannot resist. You edge closer, wanting just a taste of of the delectable delight. This is usually how mice encounter a heaping dose of life-altering pain. 

It's also like this too, with temptations we face.

To be a human being in this world is to face temptation. Temptations tend toward something enticing, something beautiful, something enjoyable -- at first. But within the temptation is what would ruin us. A sweet outer shell that coats a bitter, poisonous core. It's either something good misused (money, food, friendship, drink, sex, language, etc), or something that's just rotten through and through.

And even though we may know it's not good for us -- we want it anyway.

For Christians, the reality of temptation appears in the fabric of the most known prayer in the Bible, the Lord's Prayer (lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...). Let's be clear: having to face temptation is not a sin (by sin, I mean missing the mark -- misusing others, ourselves, the world around us for our own selfish ends).

My pastor, during a sermon some years back, shared some bracing truths about humanity and temptation 

... mainly, that people continually overestimate their ability to withstand temptation in tempting scenarios. Pride comes before the fall.

When have you overestimated yourself in such scenarios? When have done something you previously thought -- or swore -- that you'd never do? It's happened to my friends. It's happened to me. It's probably happened to you, too.

The apostle Paul had this to say about temptation, in his first letter to the church in Corinth, Greece. 

"Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed, lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to [people]. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation God will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry." (1 Corinthians 10:12-14)

A few points to spot:

a) "let anyone who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall" -- the mere presumption that we're self-sufficiently strong enough to withstand a temptation becomes a warning sign. 

b) "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to [people]" It can encourage us to remember that whatever temptations we face are not unique to us. Yes, our backstories, particulars may differ from other people. But the object of temptation isn't new to this world. In other words, you're not alone with what you face. Other people have faced it. You can too.

c) "he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, with the temptation God will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." God will always provide a way out of temptation's snare. The way out might not be easy. The way it may cost. But there's a way out. Take the way out whenever you can. 

 Clamber for the escape. Keep fighting to get away.

d) "Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry." If (for example) you struggle with gambling, God's not going to be impressed by how well you abstain -- in the presence of slot machines, at a casino -- from betting money. The Lord's counsel is to flee.

To run like hell. To stay far, far away. To recoil back from temptation, and to RUN from it.

e) "God is faithful" However deep or longstanding your temptation may be, and however many times you've tried to break free and have not yet, God's faithfulness outlasts, outreaches, out-shouts. No temptation can break God's faithfulness to us. Our temptations don't get the last word, ever. 

Rest on these words, sisters and brothers. It's OK to run like hell away from temptations. It's often the wiser course of action to take. Temptations are harder to resist than we think.